Not long ago I witnessed the following conversation between a wife and her husband:
“Michael, did you open the window?”
“Yeah, before dinner like you asked me to.”
“Don’t you think it’s cold in here?”
“Well, no, it’s kind of hot to me ‘cause I just came in from outside.”
“Well how long do you want to keep it open?”
“I don’t know, I really hadn’t thought about it.”
At this point, knowing all along that the wife was cold and wanted the window closed, I couldn’t help but blurt out, “I think she’s asking you to close the window,” to which the husband replied, “Oh, no problem sweetie, I’d be happy to.” Then he closed the window.
I was confounded by the exchange for a number of reasons:
- The wife knew damn well her husband had opened the window as she was sitting right in front of it the whole time.
- At any time she could have closed it herself or even asked me to do it for her.
- She was the one who was cold but for some reason could not simply say to the love of her life, “Michael, can you please close the window?”
Why this really bothers me I don’t know. But it does. Whenever I witness someone unable to be direct about their needs/wants/desires I get mad. Wasted opportunity? Wasted time? Wasted Life? Don’t know. Just pisses me off…
So please, all of you tentative types out there – learn to be direct!