Tag Archives: Self-Confidence

How To Build Confidence With Foundational Wins

Foundational Wins
The Proof of my Foundational Wins

Self confidence is something we all need to compete in the world. One of the best ways to build your confidence is through what I call Foundational Wins. The type of success that lays the foundation for confident feelings throughout your life.

Foundational Wins often come in early school years, when we achieve something in academics, sports or music, and receive accolades from our teachers and peers.

How does this help? Throughout our lives we’re going to face challenges, tough times, tough competition. At these times we need to reach back into our memories and find a time when we were strong. Without this turbo boost of confidence, we’re likely to give in to self-doubt at the worst possible times. When we most need to believe in our abilities. When something’s on the line and we need to perform.

Like in job interviews and auditions. Or when your job interview is an audition.

If you work in training as I do, you often have to audition for a job. I’ve auditioned at least a dozen times, and each time, while I was prepping and just before I went on, I was able to reach back to that reservoir of personal strength that came from Foundational Wins.

My first one came in 4th grade. I was brought up in front of the entire school at an assembly to receive a blue ribbon. My first chess tournament win. Again in 5th grade and 6th grade I stood in front of the entire school and received a blue ribbon. School Chess Champ.

The entire school clapped and cheered for me.

Sure, it was a geeky award. But it was also respect. I was the best. I’d beaten all comers and came out on top. Even the jocks and the cool kids had to admit that in that one little area, I was a badass. Continue reading How To Build Confidence With Foundational Wins

Performance Anxiety

lifeinpieces

Sometimes good sense comes to us from the unlikeliest places. Like this new sitcom, Life In Pieces. In episode 17, the mom is freaking out because her daughter Sofia is not practicing for her piano recital. Mom is reliving all the bad memories from her own childhood recital, so she talks with her daughter to spare her the humiliation she endured as a child.

Mom: “Your dad and I are concerned that you’re not practicing. I used to play piano when I was your age but I don’t anymore because nobody made me practice and I wish that they had.”

Sofia: “Well, no one’s stopping you now, go ahead.”

Mom: “I had a recital when I was your age, it did not go well. And I regret that.”

Sofia: “Mom, don’t worry so much. It’ll be fine, I promise.”

So the family assembles in the audience, prepared for humiliation and tears. Sofia delivers a cringe worthy performance, but the moment passes when the boy after her wets his pants and leaves the stage in shame.

LIP Audience

The family gathers backstage to console their daughter, who, strangely, does not seem fazed by having just bombed her recital. Continue reading Performance Anxiety