There I was all cheery and full of civic pride for filing my tax returns on time and paying my fair share. Then I got a call late tonight from my CPA – both my Federal and State tax returns were rejected because SOMEONE HAD ALREADY FILED A TAX RETURN IN MY NAME!

That’s right, I am now officially a victim of one of the fastest-growing forms of identity theft, dirty bastards ripping off tax refunds by posing as you. How did it happen? My only guess is that the data breach a few months ago by my health care provider loosened my social security number upon the criminal class, and they made short work of my tax refund.

So now instead of pursuing my dream of being a writer, I will be pursuing my new dream of not being a victim of those dirty bastards who stole my ID and my tax refund.

So no celebrating Tax Day for me – gotta go file affadavits with the IRS, my local police department, the FTC, the credit bureaus, my health care provider and anyone else who will listen…