Tag Archives: Distraction

Stupid, Loathsome Things About The Winter Olympics

Curling is a loathsome excuse for an Olympic sport!Like a car crash on the other side of the highway, I can’t help but gawk at the Winter Olympics. I really don’t need the distraction, but those drones opening night were awesome, and the Slopeside Snowboarding is kinda badass. Yet there are some stupid, loathsome things about this event we need to talk about.

Let’s start with the obvious:

Curling Is Not A Sport

It’s shuffleboard with brooms but without Pina Coladas. It’s stupid. No one breaks a sweat. No one risks injury.  This is a loathsome excuse for a sport.

It’s as lame as “Rhythmic Gymnastics” was back in the 80’s, where they gave medals to young girls prancing around with a ribbon on a stick. It does not qualify as Olympic material. For one, simple reason:

If I am fit enough to do it, it cannot possibly be an Olympic sport.

Hell, Homer Simpson won a gold medal in Curling.  I rest my case.

Yet these people keep trying to sucker me into watching it, and I refuse. Our women’s team is in a distant 8th place, without much hope, and that match between Italy and the USA men’s team was not “thrilling” as they said. I’ve seen more “thrilling conclusions” on the Lido deck of a blue-hair cruise.

Suddenly I’m A Fashion Critic

I’m probably one of the least fashionable people you know, but all of a sudden, when the Olympics are on, I’m some kind of fashion expert. And boy can I be critical.

I can tell you everything that’s wrong with the national outfits in the opening ceremony. I can pontificate on why that greased-up, bare-chested Tongan guy needs to knock it off and put a shirt on. Because even I know that what’s cool in the summer games is totally creepy in the winter.

I seem to have the gift of knowing everything that should be fixed with each team’s uniforms. And I’m not shy or kind with my opinions.

Like how horrible our women’s speedskating outfits look. Have you seen them? They are a solid blackish color throughout, except, for some strange reason, they have an eye-catching pattern throughout the groinal region. This makes for an unfortunate visual.

When our gals finish a race and bend over to catch their breath, the effect is most unseemly. No other team uniform has this feature and for a darn good reason. It’s a horrible look and impossible to ignore.

The Loathsome Announcers

Don’t get me wrong, there are some real pros broadcasting in the Olympics. But there are some loathsome clowns working it too.

Like the guy working the Men’s 1500 meter speed skating event. American Shani Davis was slightly ahead of his opponent at the start of their heat. The announcer began lavishing Davis with praise and called him a transcendent skater.

Then he threw him under the bus for questioning how the American flag bearer was chosen. That seemed uncool. Why cause me to think less of the guy while you’re rampaging on how awesome he is?

But it got worse. As the announcer rambled on, Shani fell behind his opponent, had his ass handed to him at the finish line, and ended up in 19th place for the event.

But the announcer was oblivious to all of this. Shani got blown away on the ice as this guy was going on and on about how dominant a skater he was. It was embarrassing.

Had the announcer paid attention to the race and not his script, we could have appreciated Shani’s Olympic swan song. He was the first African American to ever win Winter Olympic individual medal and he held 9 World Records. We could have appreciated Shani’s past greatness and acknowledged his opponent’s greater performance that day. But not with this loathsome guy on the mic…

There are a lot of other things that set me off about this event. Like the subjective judging of figure skating, and the arcane winter events that only Northern Europeans have a chance to win.  Like lying flat on top of someone and hurtling down a trough of ice without brakes.  How do Egyptians, Jamaicans, or Texans train for Doubles Luge competition? Seems pretty exclusionary to me.

But The Most Stupid, Loathsome Thing…

Is the amount of time I waste watching this stuff. That’s right, I watch as much or more loathsome Winter Olympics as anyone. It sucks me in every time, from watching for the Armenian team in the opening ceremony, to shouting USA! USA! USA! whenever we strike gold.

I’m as bad as anyone with my nationalistic pride, and my desire for the USA to get more medals than Russia or China. But it does not serve me. It keeps me from my creative work. Hell, it keeps me from my work work. My career work, my workout work, and even my housework.

I’m distracted enough as a Manic Impressive. I don’t need this. The Winter Olympics is bad for my productivity, my health, and my happiness. So I will have to work at turning off these damn games so I can get back to work.

And if I stop watching TV and spend more time in the gym, I too may have a chest worth oiling up and showing off to the world. I’ll just need to do a ton of ab work and a lot of shaving…

 

It’s About Time To Forget Politics Again

Politics and Special Prosecutor MuellerThis time last year we were all obsessing over the presidential election.  I was so wrapped up in it that I had to forget about politics for a while and focus on my Magnificent Obsession.

I did pretty well for a while, but suddenly I’m back in that headspace, obsessing about things beyond my control. I’m lifting my nose off the grindstone and wallowing in politics again. Bad Manic Impressive!

Can You Blame Me?

There is a lot of fascinating stuff going on in politics right now. We’re debating how to prevent a nuclear war with N. Korea, how to cut taxes, and whether Tuesday’s election results indicate a wave of political change is coming.

But most fascinating to me is the special prosecutor situation and all the testimony going on to prove whether or not our new administration was in cahoots with the Russians.

This is fascinating stuff for people in a democracy. We get to see our constitution in action. And it’s very, very real. People are being threatened with long jail sentences, and we’re nowhere near a resolution. There will be shoes dropping all over the place in the coming weeks.

American History In Action

Back in 1875, President Ulysses Grant appointed the first special prosecutor to investigate the Whiskey Ring Scandal. Helluva scandal name right there.

Since then we’ve seen special prosecutors investigate Democrats and Republicans alike. Clinton for Whitewater and the  Lewinski scandal, Regan for the Iran-Contra Affair, and Nixon for Watergate.

All have been riveting, amazing political theater.

This new one with Trump could be even bigger than Watergate, where a few bumbling burglars brought down a presidency. Trump’s scandal involves a hostile foreign power that allegedly manipulated an American presidential election. Fascinating!

And this one’s got even more lurid gossipy potential because it involves the president’s son, daughter, and son-in-law.  And now, Russian hookers. Real juicy stuff.

No matter your political affiliation, there will always be juicy political scandals to obsess over.

Nothing But Distraction

But as juicy as it might be, it’s nothing but a distraction for us creative types. Yes, it involves our democracy at the highest and deepest levels, but it has nothing to do with us individually.

We’re not testifying before a Senate committee or to a government investigator. We’re not being dogged by cable news journalists to explain ourselves. And none of us are facing jail time or losing our jobs over any of this.

Sure, we should be involved to advocate for our rights, but at this point in the proceedings, we’re just consumers of information. Not subjects of inquiry.

So as much as it pains me to admit it, I need to stop obsessing over this stuff and get back to work.

The Magnificent Obsession

This is what we need to be focused on. That one amazing thing that will take our lives to the next level. That career move, that business plan, that invention we need to take onto Shark Tank and get funded by egotistical billionaires.

We need to focus on that brilliant project we were meant to bring to life. That idea we have in us that’s dying to get out and live in the world. That goal that will help us achieve our potential, and make the lives of the people around us better.

And this is the time of year when we need to set the wheels in motion on it. While life starts to slow a bit for the holidays. When the weather forces us indoors, and we have time to plan.

So start thinking about your Magnificent Obsession, if you’re not already elbows deep in it.  Figure out what you were built to do on this planet and start making some plans. Because there will be lots of distractions ahead, and you can’t afford to let another year slip by.

Encourage Me To Forget Politics And Turn Off My TV

So when you see me, don’t take the bait on the latest political gossip. If I start ranting about Mueller, Manafort, or the latest guy,  Keith Shiller, who was hauled in to testify about those Russian hookers Trump allegedly entertained in Moscow, please tell me to shut the hell up about politics. Tell me to turn off my TV and get back to work.