Category Archives: Manic Mutterings

Happy Tax Day Everyone!

You may think this is crazy, but I’m a big fan of April 15th. Go ahead and hate me for this, but I actually think we should turn it into a       national holiday.

Hating HonkeesYes, I realize I am nuts. No, you’re right. I should hate the IRS like most everyone does, and I should hate everything about our annual day of tax collection.

But I don’t. I kinda like it and I think we should celebrate it. Just like the Fourth of July. Maybe not with parades, but certainly with fireworks and alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol…

Here’s the thing. As Americans what’s the one thing we enjoy as much as our freedoms? Our services. Very few people around the world get as many as we do, and at the level of quality as ours. Continue reading Happy Tax Day Everyone!

Evolution vs. Creation Resolved

The_Darwin_Fish-1    Vs.Christian Fish

 

Oh boy, it’s back in the news again, the age-old showdown between Evolution and Creation.  I can end decades of debate on this in three simple words. Put everyone’s mind at ease, clear it all up, end all the arguing once and for all.

On the one hand are the Fundamentalists. They know for a fact that God created the universe as we know it in seven days.

Then ‘ol Darwin came along with his theory that we evolved over the eons from lower life forms, and they pretty much freaked. They’ve been fighting his work ever since, and pushing to have “Creationism” taught in schools, a word they totally made up for just for this purpose.

Meanwhile the Scientists and the Atheists put forth all sorts of data to confirm Evolution and shout down the Creationists . They’ve got the Big Bang Theory, Carbon Dating, and of course, Darwin’s Theory of Natural Selection.

Soon the Creationists roll out Intelligent Design, another made up word to suit the occasion, to counter the Natural Selection of Darwinism. Which pushed the whole pile of complexity into court where a District Court ruled against Creationism and defined it as a Pseudo  Science, weakening the case for Intelligent Design.

Even with that ruling, there have been competing, confusing charges going back and forth.  But I have the answer to bring it all back to one unified theory and end all the bickering

My solution would make both sides right, nobody wrong, and everybody happy.  And all it would take would be these three simple words:

God Created Evolution!

End of Discussion. Now, everyone off to the bar for drinks!

Fish Museum

IMG_1012My wife and I lived in Japan for 2 1/2 years in the mid ’90s. We were  often amazed when our Japanese students would come back from vacation having visited sites in Northern California that we, born and raised in the Bay Area, had never seen. So when we moved home in 1997 we vowed to start playing tourist in our own backyard.

This led to a personal re-discovery of some very cool places. We went to the Marin Headlands and took pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge. We went to Fort Point, Fort Baker, Muir Woods, and the lighthouses at Pt. Reyes, Montara, Marin Headlands, Camarillo, and Pigeon Point, where we spent the night at the hostel and sat in the cliff-side hot tub watching the whales migrate north.

We also went through Pacific Heights in SF, down Lombard Street, on a Segway tour through North Beach, on a fishing boat tour around Alcatraz, to the Palace of Fine Arts and the Legion of Honor. We went champagne tasting in Sonoma, wine tasting in Napa, kayaking down the Russian River, to the Mystery Spot in Santa Cruz, saw the sun set at Carmel beach, drove the 17 mile drive in Pacific Grove, bought T-shirts on Cannery Row in Monterey, hiked through Big Sur, and took three tours at Hearst Castle.

We were feeling pretty proud of ourselves, and frankly, thought we’d seen it all. Until the day  we stumbled on the hidden gem that is the Red Top Market. It happened on Highway 152, about 19 miles east of Los Banos. We’d passed this spot hundreds of times before and never noticed a site worth seeing. Continue reading Fish Museum

Context Is Everything

9556224_origMy dentist is a good man and very good at his job. But I don’t really like  the whole ventriloquism thing I’m forced to do while lying in the chair. He always asks me questions while he’s jamming a mirror and pick down my throat so I can’t possibly answer. But he keeps doing it  anyway so I’m compelled to try to throw my voice. It never works.

I went to see him this week and it all happened again like it always does. Then it got weird. He started hitting on me. Or at least he said a few things that, heard out of context, would make you think he was. Things like…

“Hmmm, impressive, nice and pink and firm.” (actually said while inspecting my gums, but sounding like he was checking out some young woman’s fancy parts)

“Feel free to go to sleep, as long as I can crack you open and scrape your teeth” (after I mentioned I wasn’t fully awake yet)

That is the cleanest mouth I’ll probably see all day…” (well, er, thank you very much, Doctor, I think…)

No I don’t think he’s a perv, but I don’t think he hears what he sounds like to his patients. Then again, he does have a very weird job, cracking people open all day and scraping their teeth.

 

“You Know You’re Crazy, Right?”

Yeah, I know. That’s what I told her. My wife. When she poked her head in my office just now and said, “You know you’re crazy, right?” “Yeah, I know.”

What could I say? It was 4:55 am. I was pulling an all nighter again. I didn’t mean to. It just happened. I got through the whole day and night and hadn’t gotten in here. But I just had to, so then I did.

So I’ll be shot for tomorrow. My day won’t get started til very, very late. There’s lots to do and not enough time, and I’ve just sacrificed half the day.

But I just had to get in here. Because when I don’t, I fail. I can get by with little sleep, but I can’t afford to fail. And now you’re all caught up…