If you’re trying to be more than you are today, you need to watch your self-talk. Because there’s a part of you that’s always listening, and it can’t tell the difference between fact and fiction. Your subconscious believes everything you say, then triggers your feelings, which in turn dictate your actions. So there are things people often say, that you should never say to yourself.
“That’s My Story And I’m Sticking To It”
We tell ourselves stories all the time. It’s normal for humans to observe the behaviors of others, make assumptions about their intent, and assign judgements to them. It’s how we make sense of the world around us.
But we need to be careful about the stories we tell ourselves. Have you ever seen a guy driving faster than you and called him a jerk? Sure you have. But what if that guy just got bad news about his wife’s cancer and was rushing home to comfort her? Maybe he’s a deeply compassionate husband more concerned with his mate’s feelings than the posted speed limit.
Your sub-conscious mind can’t differentiate between facts and opinions. Especially when it’s in your own voice. If you’re the one saying it, your brain will believe it. Then it will act accordingly to cut off that jerk who’s just trying to take care of his ailing wife.
Now who’s the jerk?
Be careful about sticking to your story. It’s often an excuse for bad behavior. Because what usually happens is your story sticks to you.
Never say “that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.” Tell a better story instead, and you’ll trigger better behavior.
“I Don’t Feel Like It”
Manic Impressives fail to produce when they give in to these words. We love to start things, but often run out of steam before we finish our creative projects and launch them into the world.
Mel Robbins, a speaker, writer and coach, wrote a brilliant book about this problem called Stop Saying You’re Fine. It’s loaded with case studies of Manics who yearn for more, but chicken out when it really matters.
She states that when you say “I don’t feel like it” to yourself, the very thing you don’t feel like doing is the most valuable thing you can do in that moment. It’s what will move you forward in your life toward the things you want.
If you want to be more than you are today, you must get better at doing the things you don’t want to do. Like sending out inquiry letters for your book, imposing on others to buy your beer-can sculptures, or making phone calls to get that dream job interview.
If you don’t feel like it, it’s a sign that it’s probably the thing you should do right this minute. Not when you magically feel like doing it at some mysterious point in the future. Use Mel’s 5 Second Rule. Whenever you start thinking about something you should do, take immediate action within the first 5 seconds of having the thought.
Never say “I don’t feel like it” if you want to be a successful creator.
You may have great reasons to say this. And at bedtime it’s a great thing to say. Your body will respond and it will be easier to crawl into bed and go to sleep.
But if you say it at the wrong time, your body will sink into your alleged tiredness and resist further effort. This is dangerous to say when you need to do more in order to be more. Especially when you come home from work and there are things you need to do to feel good about yourself. Like exercise, clearing clutter, or getting your gear ready for the next morning.
Sure you’re tired. But your body doesn’t need to know it. Not when there’s a short-story to finish, a blog post to write, a spouse to listen to, or a child that needs you. Save these words for bedtime.
“I’m tired” is a trigger to stop. Never say it when there’s more to do.
Never Say Self-Limiting Things
Okay, never is a pretty strong word. You’re going to say these things at times. But if you start listening to yourself, you may find the self-limiting language your subconscious hears that causes you to be less than you could be.
Listen up, rewind and restate, then take immediate action within 5 seconds. You’ll finish more of what you start, make progress toward your dreams, be a little less Manic, and a lot more Impressive.