Category Archives: Manic Mutterings

Fish Museum

IMG_1012My wife and I lived in Japan for 2 1/2 years in the mid ’90s. We were  often amazed when our Japanese students would come back from vacation having visited sites in Northern California that we, born and raised in the Bay Area, had never seen. So when we moved home in 1997 we vowed to start playing tourist in our own backyard.

This led to a personal re-discovery of some very cool places. We went to the Marin Headlands and took pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge. We went to Fort Point, Fort Baker, Muir Woods, and the lighthouses at Pt. Reyes, Montara, Marin Headlands, Camarillo, and Pigeon Point, where we spent the night at the hostel and sat in the cliff-side hot tub watching the whales migrate north.

We also went through Pacific Heights in SF, down Lombard Street, on a Segway tour through North Beach, on a fishing boat tour around Alcatraz, to the Palace of Fine Arts and the Legion of Honor. We went champagne tasting in Sonoma, wine tasting in Napa, kayaking down the Russian River, to the Mystery Spot in Santa Cruz, saw the sun set at Carmel beach, drove the 17 mile drive in Pacific Grove, bought T-shirts on Cannery Row in Monterey, hiked through Big Sur, and took three tours at Hearst Castle.

We were feeling pretty proud of ourselves, and frankly, thought we’d seen it all. Until the day  we stumbled on the hidden gem that is the Red Top Market. It happened on Highway 152, about 19 miles east of Los Banos. We’d passed this spot hundreds of times before and never noticed a site worth seeing. Continue reading Fish Museum

Context Is Everything

9556224_origMy dentist is a good man and very good at his job. But I don’t really like  the whole ventriloquism thing I’m forced to do while lying in the chair. He always asks me questions while he’s jamming a mirror and pick down my throat so I can’t possibly answer. But he keeps doing it  anyway so I’m compelled to try to throw my voice. It never works.

I went to see him this week and it all happened again like it always does. Then it got weird. He started hitting on me. Or at least he said a few things that, heard out of context, would make you think he was. Things like…

“Hmmm, impressive, nice and pink and firm.” (actually said while inspecting my gums, but sounding like he was checking out some young woman’s fancy parts)

“Feel free to go to sleep, as long as I can crack you open and scrape your teeth” (after I mentioned I wasn’t fully awake yet)

That is the cleanest mouth I’ll probably see all day…” (well, er, thank you very much, Doctor, I think…)

No I don’t think he’s a perv, but I don’t think he hears what he sounds like to his patients. Then again, he does have a very weird job, cracking people open all day and scraping their teeth.

 

“You Know You’re Crazy, Right?”

Yeah, I know. That’s what I told her. My wife. When she poked her head in my office just now and said, “You know you’re crazy, right?” “Yeah, I know.”

What could I say? It was 4:55 am. I was pulling an all nighter again. I didn’t mean to. It just happened. I got through the whole day and night and hadn’t gotten in here. But I just had to, so then I did.

So I’ll be shot for tomorrow. My day won’t get started til very, very late. There’s lots to do and not enough time, and I’ve just sacrificed half the day.

But I just had to get in here. Because when I don’t, I fail. I can get by with little sleep, but I can’t afford to fail. And now you’re all caught up…