cheap date lyricsThe third week of January has been a rough week for me the past five years. That’s when my father passed away and officially made me an orphan. I’ve had trouble with this week ever since. Dumb, crazy, nonsense takes over my life, and stupid things start to happen.
Not life-threatening trouble, but stupid, annoying, time-wasting trouble. Stuff that throws me off my game and causes me to lose steam, chase my tail, and become non-productive. This is the Manic part of being Manic Impressive.
Like when the cat brought a rat inside to play and it escaped into the kitchen, chewed $1500 worth of damage to our appliances, and caused us to spend a full day and $75 in quarters at a laundromat.
Dumb, crazy, nonsense that makes me forget my sister’s birthday.
Smartphones Make Humans Stupid
This year’s stupid nonsense started with me losing my phone. We went to the movies, and just before the show I went to put my phone on vibrate. But I couldn’t find it, and suddenly stupid, I assumed I’d left it at home.
Dumbass. I should have gotten up and looked under my seat where the phone landed after slipping out of my pocket. That momentary lapse allowed all sorts of dumb, crazy nonsense to start happening.
Have you ever tried to get by without your phone? I’m so dependent on this damn thing that I can’t function without it. For two days I was searching and stumbling through my life without contact or context. Couldn’t be reached, couldn’t live up to my schedule, couldn’t focus on moving things forward.
Back before cell phones, I had all my important phone numbers memorized. I could call dozens of people from memory. Now I can’t recall anyone’s number. My smartphone has made me stupid.
Finally, I wised up and used that Find My Phone app and it showed the phone still in the movie theater.
So I called. They hadn’t found it. Then I drove up there, crawled around on the sticky floor of the auditorium and didn’t find it. But I did pocket the two quarters I found, so the trip wasn’t a total waste.
More Dumb Nonsense
Meanwhile, I had to take my tablet back in for repair. I’d dropped it, and like a stupid person, I didn’t have it in a case. The glass shattered, I lost $150 to a repair shop, but when I got the thing home, the repair needed to be repaired.
So back to the shop to repair the repair. Now I’m down two devices, and I’m becoming desperate. How will I stay in touch with the world? I can’t receive a call from either the movie theater or the repair shop to recover my devices.
And worse, I have nothing to kill time with. Waiting in line and going to the bathroom are dreadful activities without my Soduko, Freecell, and Football Striker games. I can’t even escape the boredom of cardio workouts at the gym with my Kindle app. I must actually stare at the tv screens on the wall to ease the tedium.
The Crazy Part
Though I’ve been totally distracted and unproductive during this stupid phase, there is a silver lining. There always seems to be some sliver of brilliance that comes out of it. Sometimes it’s a new habit I force on myself to prevent bigger, dumber things from happening in the future.
Sometimes it’s a new level of focus, or a chance to regroup and reassess my methods and get better results.
But often it’s some sort of cosmic realization, that when people and moments collide, good things can happen. This is where I walk away with faith and hope restored. This is where I realize that anything, and I mean absolutely anything, is possible.
So here’s where it all comes together. I pick up the repaired tablet and make the 20-mile drive back to the theater for the third time. Twice in two days the theater’s staff checked Lost and Found and said the phone wasn’t there. Find My Phone still says it is.
I go inside, find the manager, and after a nervous wait, she came back with the phone. Thank God! Bless you woman, for restoring order to my life!
Then I remind her of the real crazy part that contains the lesson. The night we saw the movie, I found an iPhone charger in the bathroom and turned it into Lost and Found. She was the manager on duty that I turned it in to.
She tells me the charger belongs to the employee who recovered my phone. That employee made sure I got my phone back, while never knowing that I was the person that got her charger back to her.
Two lost items, creating havoc in the lives of the two people who end up restoring order for each other without ever meeting.
So, despite all the dumb, crazy, nonsense of this past week, and all the wasted time, effort and worry, all is right with the world again.
Somehow, I’m invigorated by all the stupid that went on. Yes, I lost two days of productivity stumbling around recovering my devices. But in the end, I may have recovered something more valuable.
- Hope that the universe isn’t random, and all things are possible.
- Belief that Karma exists and rewards us for good behavior.
- Wariness for the Ides of January.
And a nutty reminder to stop and remember my father. He was a very good man and you would have loved him too.
That’s all, folks. Gotta go send a belated birthday card to my sister…