Not long ago I witnessed the following conversation between a wife and her husband:
“Michael, did you open the window?”
“Yeah, before dinner like you asked me to.”
“Don’t you think it’s cold in here?”
“Well, no, it’s kind of hot to me ‘cause I just came in from outside.”
“Well how long do you want to keep it open?”
“I don’t know, I really hadn’t thought about it.”
At this point, knowing all along that the wife was cold and wanted the window closed, I couldn’t help but blurt out, “I think she’s asking you to close the window,” to which the husband replied, “Oh, no problem sweetie, I’d be happy to.” Then he closed the window.
I was confounded by the exchange for a number of reasons:
- The wife knew damn well her husband had opened the window as she was sitting right in front of it the whole time.
- At any time she could have closed it herself or even asked me to do it for her.
- She was the one who was cold but for some reason could not simply say to the love of her life, “Michael, can you please close the window?”
Why this really bothers me I don’t know. But it does. Whenever I witness someone unable to be direct about their needs/wants/desires I get mad. Wasted opportunity? Wasted time? Wasted Life? Don’t know. Just pisses me off…
So please, all of you tentative types out there – learn to be direct!
Oh boy, it’s back in the news again, the age-old showdown between Evolution and Creation. I can end decades of debate on this in three simple words. Put everyone’s mind at ease, clear it all up, end all the arguing once and for all.
On the one hand are the Fundamentalists. They know for a fact that God created the universe as we know it in seven days.
Then ‘ol Darwin came along with his theory that we evolved over the eons from lower life forms, and they pretty much freaked. They’ve been fighting his work ever since, and pushing to have “Creationism” taught in schools, a word they totally made up for just for this purpose.
Meanwhile the Scientists and the Atheists put forth all sorts of data to confirm Evolution and shout down the Creationists . They’ve got the Big Bang Theory, Carbon Dating, and of course, Darwin’s Theory of Natural Selection.
Soon the Creationists roll out Intelligent Design, another made up word to suit the occasion, to counter the Natural Selection of Darwinism. Which pushed the whole pile of complexity into court where a District Court ruled against Creationism and defined it as a Pseudo Science, weakening the case for Intelligent Design.
Even with that ruling, there have been competing, confusing charges going back and forth. But I have the answer to bring it all back to one unified theory and end all the bickering
My solution would make both sides right, nobody wrong, and everybody happy. And all it would take would be these three simple words:
God Created Evolution!
End of Discussion. Now, everyone off to the bar for drinks!
buy Lyrica in thailandMy wife and I lived in Japan for 2 1/2 years in the mid ’90s. We were often amazed when our Japanese students would come back from vacation having visited sites in Northern California that we, born and raised in the Bay Area, had never seen. So when we moved home in 1997 we vowed to start playing tourist in our own backyard.
This led to a personal re-discovery of some very cool places. We went to the Marin Headlands and took pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge. We went to Fort Point, Fort Baker, Muir Woods, and the lighthouses at Pt. Reyes, Montara, Marin Headlands, Camarillo, and Pigeon Point, where we spent the night at the hostel and sat in the cliff-side hot tub watching the whales migrate north.
We also went through Pacific Heights in SF, down Lombard Street, on a Segway tour through North Beach, on a fishing boat tour around Alcatraz, to the Palace of Fine Arts and the Legion of Honor. We went champagne tasting in Sonoma, wine tasting in Napa, kayaking down the Russian River, to the Mystery Spot in Santa Cruz, saw the sun set at Carmel beach, drove the 17 mile drive in Pacific Grove, bought T-shirts on Cannery Row in Monterey, hiked through Big Sur, and took three tours at Hearst Castle.
We were feeling pretty proud of ourselves, and frankly, thought we’d seen it all. Until the day we stumbled on the hidden gem that is the Red Top Market. It happened on Highway 152, about 19 miles east of Los Banos. We’d passed this spot hundreds of times before and never noticed a site worth seeing. buy Lyrica in ireland
They haven’t even kicked off yet and I’m disgusted. No, not that my team isn’t playing today – I got over that weeks ago. But that yet again, the person given the honor of singing our National Anthem at the Super Bowl, chose to honor herself and punish the rest of us.
It started out great, with John Legend playing piano and singing “America The Beautiful”. John’s performance was clean, tasty and respectful of both the song and the audience. Bravo! You made a new fan. The best version for my money since Brother Ray Charles nailed this for all time back in 1972.
But then the big star chosen for the “The Star Spangled Banner” steps up and throws out a testament to herself: an overblown, drawn out, American Idol “make it your own” version that tortured pitch and tempo like a warped 45.
Listen lady, “The Star Spangled Banner” is a story of American survival during the War of 1812. The British Royal Navy bombed Fort McHenry all night, but when the dust settled and the sun rose, the Americans had raised the flag to show their countrymen they had withstood the barrage and were still in the fight. The song is a testament to every American who’s fought for this country, and a symbol that American democracy could take what the world dished out and survive.
So when you step up to the mic, you’re there to remind us of the commitment and sacrifice it took to hold this country together. It is not the time for a vainglorious display of your ability to hold a note beyond reason.
Display your musicianship, not your ego. Pick one tempo and sing the song in time, straight through. Sure, you can interpret the song in your way. But no starting and stopping, slowing down and speeding up, and don’t fuck with the lyrics; pronounce them so we can hear the story.
I hate you right now, and so does every musician in the country.